The Lost Bet by Henrietta Hart
The Lost Bet by Henrietta Hart…
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Author Archives: lennart
The Los Angeles Police Departmen…
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”
The mother-in-law stopped unexpe…
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door. “What are you doing?
” the mother-in-law asked. “I am waiting for my husband to come home from work.” the daughter-in-law replied. “Why are you naked?
” asked the mother-in-law. “This is my love dress.” the daughter-in-law replied. “LOVE DRESS! You are naked.” said the mother-in-law “But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy.” said the daughter-in-law. “I would appreciate it if you left now because my husband will be home any minute.” The daughter-in-law continued. Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home she thought about the “LOVE DRESS” and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume and waited by the door for her husband to come home. Finally the pickup truck drove up the drive way and she took her place by the door. The father-in-law opened the door and immediately saw his wife naked by the door. “What are you doing?
” he asked. “This is my love dress” the mother-in-law replied. “Maybe you should iron it.” he replied.
The mother of a problem child wa…
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?
“”Yes,” the boy’s mother answered.”And how is your son now?
” the psychiatrist asked.”Who cares?
” the mother replied.
The monster spent a fortune on d…
The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn’t like him anyway.
The Modern Police Force by Iris …
The Modern Police Force by Iris Tew
The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune…
The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune
The Michaels family owned a smal…
The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?
” “What do I think?
” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!”
The managing partner in an accou…
The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him.”How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did?
That was completely unethical. We are always conscious of Ethics in this firm. You do know what Ethics is don’t you?
“The young partner is offended. “Of course I know what Ethics is. It’s a county in southern England.”
The manager of a large city zoo …
The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: “I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.”Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. “Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose,” he typed. “Please send us two of them.”