The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, “Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.””Sorry John.” she replied. “I’m not ready to settle down yet. And besides, you can’t buy my love, but if the price is right, I might see my way clear to rent you some.”
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. “I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.” “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is a hundred miles away.” “I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.” He looked stern, “I see, but where does the insult come in?
” “In the postscript,” she answered. “It said: ‘Dear Alice, don’tforget to give this letter to George.'”
The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. “Have you ever been x-rayed?
“, asked the doctor. “Nope,” she replied, “But ah’ve been ultra-violated.”
There are three ways a man wears his hair – parted- unparted or departed
There are three kinds of accountants in the world.Those who can count and those who can’t.
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, ‘Why don’t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work !?
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There are three beggars begging on Wall Street.The first beggar wrote “Beggar” on his broken cup. He received $10.00 after one day.The next day, the second beggar wrote “Beggar.com” on his cup. After one day, he received hundreds of thousands of dollars and an offer to float an IPO on NASDAQ.The following day, the third beggar wrote “e-Beg” on his cup. Microsoft, IBM, and HP sent corporate vice-presidents to talk to him about strategic alliances and offered him free hardware consultancy. In addition, it was reported on CNBC that e-Beg uses 95% Oracle technology and that I2 announced the launch of BegTradeMatrix; a b2b industry portal offering supply chain integration in the beggar community.
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:”don’t” and “stop”.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: “What’s happened to this one?
– I don’t know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving.They’d be wrong, but you could still use them.