Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel..
Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel..
Tower: Lufthansa 893, you’re number one, check for workers on the taxiway. Pilot: Roger ….. We’ve checked, they’re all working.
Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?
Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It’s only the same pilot.
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?
?
Pilot: Yes, SIR!
Tower: Cannot read you, say again! Pilot: Again!
Tourist: What’s the speed limit in this hick town?
Native: We don’t have one. You strangers can’t get out of here fast enough for us.
Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?
Native: No, we just let them go barefoot.
Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street?
Resident: No, it’s 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people.
Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: “It makes you feel young again.” John looks at Sylvester and says, “We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!” Sylvester agrees and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive. About one mile later Sylvester asks, “Well John, do you feel young yet?
” “No,” replies John. So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and continue to drive down the road. A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, “John, do you feel younger?
” “No,” replies John, “but I sure did a childish thing!”
Twenty-four hours in a day… twenty-four beers in a case… coincidence?