Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, ‘I took my girlfriend to see ‘The bride of Dracula’ last night.”Oh yeah,’ said the other, ‘ what was she like ?
”Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.’The other said, ‘Yes, but what was ‘The Bride of Dracula’ like ?
‘
Two Viking invaders are trudging up the beach in the pouring rain. One looks skywards and says, “So this is England. What’s it like?
” The other snarls, “Well, if you like the weather, you’ll love the food.”
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?
“The girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.”
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.As they’re driving home they’re really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?
“The other guy says, “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”
Two Virginia boys, Sonny and Rick, went out hunting and split up. Sonny heard some rustling in the bushes and, by mistake, shot his friend. After trying to remove the bullet, he carried Rick to a doctor. Two hours later, after the physician had patched up the wounded hunter, Sonny asked, “Please, Doc. How’s my friend?
” “Well,” answered the M.D., “he’d be a lot better off if you hadn’t taken out his gut!”
Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.Abe says, “I can’t believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?
“Max replies, “Well, it’s great, but I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. The good news is that there’s a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we’re playing “Sheherezade,” your favorite piece, tomorrow night!”Abe says, “So what’s the bad news?
“Max replies, “Well, you’re booked to play the solo!”
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill the pool with — freshwater or sea water?
The cruise director answered,”Sea water.” “Oh, that explains why it’s so roughtoday.”
Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said, “What are we going to do?
” The other replied, “Quick, turn the car into a side street.”
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”.The other replied, “No, it’s not!”.The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.To which the other man replied, “Silly, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”