Two Yanks touring London in a taxi. What is that asked one of the Yank’s. Why that is Buckingham Palace answered the taxi driver. Well you should see the states we have much bigger houses over there, and that. That is the Post Office Tower. Oh our towers are much bigger. This went on for much of the day until they went past a another building. Our buildings are much bigger than that one too. I thought it might be said the taxi driver, That is the mental institute
Author Archives: lennart
Two women, who are dog owners, a…
Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter.First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.Second woman: I know.First one: How?
Second one: My dog told me.
Two, old drunks in a bar. The fi…
Two, old drunks in a bar. The first one says, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. “By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I’m gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand” “So, “says the second drunk, “what’s your point” “Well, “says the first, “I’m just wondering how much stronger I’m gonna get!”
Two young nuns having just been …
Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, lept to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest. The nouns met again a week later and one of the nouns asked her friend,”I have one question.Did he sent flowers afterwards…?
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Tyler was excited about his firs…
Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick. Five minutes later Tyler returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. “I can’t find it,” he admitted. The teacher sat Tyler down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Tyler looked at the diagram, said “yes” and goes on his way. Well, five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, “I can’t find it.” Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. So, Tommy and Tyler go together and five minutes later they both return rand sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Tommy, “Well, did you find it?
” Tommy is quick with his reply, “Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards.”
Tyfus applied for a job in a fac…
Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked, “Have your eyes ever been checked?
” “No,” said the worker. “They’ve always been brown.”
Tyson’s psychologist told Mike t…
Tyson’s psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood….good thing he didn’t say two!
United Airlines FA: “Ladies and …
United Airlines FA: “Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we’d like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage that shifted during our so called “touch down.”
Upon entering the little country…
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?
” “Yep, that’s him,” he replied. The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?
” “Because,” the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
USAir recently introduced a spec…
USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, “What trip?
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