Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn’t much left.
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month – a short in the homeowner’s newly installed fire prevention alarm system. “This is even worse than last year,” said the distraught homeowner, “when someone broke in and stole my new security system…”
Father: You’ve got 4 D’s and a C on your report.Son: “Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject !”
Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister’s bed?
Son: I couldn’t find a spider.
Father: What did you learn in school today ?
Son: That three and three are seven.Father: Three and three are six !Son: I guess I didn’t learn anything today then !
Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lambTeacher: Really?
, what did she say?
Son: Baa!
Father: Well Son, how are your exam results ?
Son: They’re under waterFather: What do you mean ?
Son: Below “C” level !
Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m.. Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.
Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class.Teacher: But she’s top of the class.Father: That’s why I think it must be a terrible class.