Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair all down her back. Harry: Pity it’s not on her head!
Fred: Betty has lovely long red …
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Author Archives: lennart
Fred: “Why are you so upset?” Ha…
Fred: “Why are you so upset?
” Harry: “My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning.” Fred: “So what?
” Harry: “So she said to him, ‘Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I’ve been telling you about’.”
Fred’s new girlfriend uses such …
Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.
Fred’s mother was on the telepho…
Fred’s mother was on the telephone to the boy’s dentist. “I don’t understand it,” she complained, “I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you’ve charged me $80.” “It is usually $20, ma’am,” agreed the dentist, “but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!”
Fred’s class was taken to the Na…
Fred’s class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. “Did you enjoy yourself?
” asked her mother when she got home. “Oh, yes,” replied Fred. “But it was funny going to a dead zoo.”
Fred! What did I say I’d do if I…
Fred! What did I say I’d do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again?
That’s funny, Mom. I can’t remember either.
Fred wrote in her homework book:…
Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.
Fred was definitely more than a …
Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, “it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The Bears, so I followed that and saw the bears. But when I followed a sign that said To the Exit, I found myself out on the street.”
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be …
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes.BERT MONSTER: That’s nothing. My sister’s tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she’s posted it.
Fred keeps telling me that he’s …
Fred keeps telling me that he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you’ve been engaged for such a long time!