Author Archives: lennart

George W. Bush and Osama bin Lad…

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George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, “There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!” George Bush replies, “Oh yeah and tell me what you see?

” Osama answers, “I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful.” George Bush says, “Wow is that what you see?

Well I’ll tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan… I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street.” Osama asks, “And what do they say?

” George answers, “Hell, I don’t know. I can’t read Hebrew!”

Garvin the mammalogist, was in A…

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Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on the ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the small town and spend a day or two resting up and drinking in the only bar in town. On one particular day it was 40 below zero and Garvin made his way into the bar. He asked Bud, the bartender, for a whiskey. “I don’t know, Garvin, you sure have run-up a big bill in here.” The bartender told him.” I know,” Garvin replied, “But I’m flat broke, and I sure could use a drink.”OK,” The barkeep told him, “I’ll just write your tab down on the piece of paper and pin it up here by the coat rack.””Oh no, don’t do that, I don’t want everyone in town to see it.”Don’t worry,” The bartender replied, “I’m going to cover it up with your parka until its paid!”

From a Southwest Airlines employ…

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From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

Fresh out of business school, th…

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Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a wantad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a verynervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.”I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “Butmainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.””Excuse me?

” the accountant said.”I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.””I see,” the accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?

“”I’ll start you at eighty thousand.””Eighty thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can such asmall business afford a sum like that?

“”That,” the owner said, “is your first worry.”