While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.”What is the big brass gong and hammer for?
” one of his friends asked.”That is the talking clock,” the man replied.”How’s it work?
” the friend asked.”Watch,” the student said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! It’s two AM!”
Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations?
Santa Clues.
Who are the hamburgers favourite people?
Vegetarians!
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file.He said it said “File not found”.I told him to do a dir.I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed.He said, “Well it says autoexec, then there’s some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat.”I said type this in “type autoexec.bat”.Again he got “File not found”.I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed.He said, “I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat’.
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope’s authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.The chief asked: “Who is in the limo, the mayor?
“The policeman told him: “No, someone more important than the mayor.”Then the chief asked “Is it the governor?
“The policeman answered: “No, someone more important than the governor.”The chief finally asked: “Is it the President?
“The policeman answered: “No, someone even more important than the President.”This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: “Now who is m ore important than the President?
!”The policeman calmly wispered: “I’ll put it to you this way chief. I don’t know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur.”
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !
Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea?
The Oyster Bunny!
Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
Who delievers cat’s Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS sausage!