You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites, and so does she.
You know the worst thing about o…
You know the worst thing about oral sex?
The view.
You mama’s so skinny ….she can…
You mama’s so skinny ….she can hang glide with a dorito!
You Might be a Marine Wife if:1….
You Might be a Marine Wife if:1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you. 2. You earned an Accounting degree by deciphering your husband’s LES and running a family on what was ACTUALLY deposited. 3. “Savings” sounds like a great idea and you hope to someday have some. 4. Sex – see #3. 5. You can simultaneously be a control freak, change plans on a moment’s notice, yet you are not being treated for schizophrenia. 6. You know the Tricare regulations/procedures better than their service reps. 7. You know what forms you need better than your husband’s Admin clerk. 8. You are strangely attracted (or repulsed) by the color green. 9. You can calculate the cost of a 5-minute phone call from any country, any time, on up to four different calling plans. 10. At a distance, you can pick out your husband from 100 other men with identical haircuts and clo thes. 11. The face paint in your closet is NOT for your children. 12. Name tapes are not just for kids.
You need to log on to the window…
You need to log on to the window repair website!I did – but it gave me a pane!
You said it was a great horse an…
You said it was a great horse and it is.It took twenty other horses to beat him!
You said this horse could jump a…
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can’t jump at all.Well neither can a fence!
You’re a big Internet fan aren’t…
You’re a big Internet fan aren’t you?
Yes – it’s becoming a habit!
You’re a big internet fan, arn’t…
You’re a big internet fan, arn’t you?
Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!
You’re hiking around on Hampsted…
You’re hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don’t you believe?
Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.