What does it mean to come home to a man who’ll give you some love and tenderness?

You’re in the wrong house.

What is the difference between men and pigs?

Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

What is the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women.

What’s a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What’s the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn’t agree with them.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?

A mental hospital.

Where’s the safest place to hide money from a man?

Under the soap