Q. How can you tell if a man is happy?

A. Who cares?

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?

A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.

Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

A. Any place without a drive-up window.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A. A widow.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?

A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A. You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Q. What’s a man’s idea of honestly in a relationship?

A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?

A. A woman to show him how to work it.