How can you be sure you have counterfeit money?

If it’s a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.

How can you make money fast?

Glue it to the floor.

How did rich people get their money?

They were calm and collected.

How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company?

He was shocked.

How do thunderstorms invest their money?

-In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets

I hate paying my income tax.You should be a good citizen – why don’t you pay with a smile?

I’d like to but they insist on money

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?

The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?

Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.

If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have?

A dollar.

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?

A million dollars minus 75 cents.