Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says “all cotton.”Salesman: Oh, that’s just to keep the moths away.

Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things — burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, “I hope you’ll be very happy there.” […]

How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?

His lips are moving.

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m better than you.”

Insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.

Ned: What does your Dad sell ?

Ed: Salt.Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.Ed: Shake.

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object.”What is that?

” Mikey asked. “It’s a thermos,” the salesman replied. “What does it do?

” asked Mikey. “This baby,” the salesman said, “keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. “What is it?

” they asked.”It’s a thermos,” Mikey replied.”What does it do?

” they asked.”Well,” Mikey says in a bragging manner, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.””What do ya got in it?

“To which Mikey says, “Three cups of coffee and a popsicle.”

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that?

Patient: I’m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don’t want.

Policeman: Why didn’t you check your speedometer?

Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.Customer: But it says “Made in Cleveland.”Salesman: Haven’t you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?