Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a telephone. Doctor: Why’s that?

I keep getting calls in the night.

Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn’t pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. ‘Darling!’ he blurted out, ‘will you marry me?

”Of course, I will, you silly boy,’ she replied, ‘who is it speaking?

‘

Hello, police?

Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn’t the police station. It’s the Delicatessen. Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?

You get a buzzy signal.

How can you tell if someone who’s just had a perm is on the phone?

You get a frizzy signal!

How can you tell if someone who’s having a temper tantrum is on the phone?

You get a tizzy signal!

How did the telephones get married ?

In a double ring ceremony !

How do Iranians speak on the telephone?

Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?

Yellow?

How does a cheerleader answer the phone?

H-E-L-L-O!