Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today.Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid.Yes, sir. It’s the iceberg lettuce that does it.
Waiter, I can’t eat this meat, it’s crawling with maggots !Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by !
Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !I can’t do that sir, he’s not had his main course yet !
Waiter, are there snails on the menu !Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !
Waiter, I can’t seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup.Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?
Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?
No, madam I wiped it off !
Waiter, I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?
Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !