One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
One day a blond went out to check her mail box. There was nothing in it. Her neighbor who was also out there gives her a weird look.An hour later she goes back out to her mailbox and goes back in cause there was nothing in it and her neighbor goes “What the hell is she doing?
“An hour later she goes back out side and looks in the mailbox and there is nothing in it. Finally the neighbor gets curious enough to ask her what she is doing. The blone says, “My stupid computer keeps saying you’ve got mail.”
One day 3 women went to the top of a water flume in a swimming pool. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman.When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and said “when your going down the flume shout out the on thing that you want and you will land in it at the bottom. So the black haired woman went down and shouted “money” and landed in a load of cash, the brown haired woman went down and shouted “gorgous men!” and landed in a pile of men. The blonde woman wasnt listening to the genie so she went down shouting weeeeeee.
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said ‘Disney Land left’ they turned around and went home.
One behaviorist to another after lovemaking: “Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?
“
One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. “But why do we have to hurry?
” said one. “Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the dotted line'”.
One agent stops by another agent’s table to tell him the big news: “Elvis just died!” The second agent says nothing, then starts nodding. “Good career move.”
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercialairliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to showup so they can get underway. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane,and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers rightand left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the copilot is usinga guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with hugesunglasses.At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must besome sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes theengines start revving and the airplane starts moving down therunway.The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness,whispering among themselves and looking desperately to thestewardesses for reassurance.Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people beginpanicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane getscloser and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becomingmore and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left,there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyonescreams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane liftsoff and is airborne.Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief andturns to the pilot: “You know, one of these days the passengersaren’t going to scream, and we’re gonna get killed!
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we aren’t going to know when to take off!”
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. So me passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we aren’t going to know when to take off!”