Policeman: Why are you driving that car in circles?
Driver: I was just going for a little spin.
Policeman: Why are you driving t…
Leave a reply
Author Archives: lennart
Policeman: Why are you driving o…
Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk?
Motorist: It’s too dangerous on the street.
Policeman: What do you think you…
Policeman: What do you think you’re doing parking your car there?
Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says “Safety Zone.”
Policeman: What do you think you…
Policeman: What do you think you’re doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?
Driver: My brakes don’t work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.
Pride is what you feel when your…
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
President Dubya was awakened one…
President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “there’s good news & bad news.” “Oh, no,” muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.” “The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from another planet.” “Gosh, and the good news?
” “The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil.”
President Clinton, returning fro…
President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip — a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute.”I’d salute you back, Sergeant,” says the President, “but as you can see, I’ve got my hands full.””Yes, sir,” replies the sergeant. “Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs.””Why, these aren’t pigs,” the President responds. “These are RAZORBACKS!””Yes, sir — razorbacks. Sorry, sir.””Yup,” Clinton continues. “Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary.”The sergeant replies: “Very good trade, sir — very good trade.”
President Clinton to maid: Mam, …
President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary’s room. She complains that it’s the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President–I’ll remove the mirrors right away.
President Clinton died and knock…
President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. “Who goes there?
” inquired St. Peter. “It’s me, Bill Clinton”. “What bad things did you do on earth?
” Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit perjury.” After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, “OK, here’s the deal. We’ll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won’t call it ‘Hell.’ You’ll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won’t call it ‘eternity.’ And don’t ‘abandon all hope’ upon entering, just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.”
Postcard from a blonde: Having a…
Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?