Q: How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature. Next question, please.
Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask “What is the registration number of the light bulb?
“, one to ask “Have you tried rebooting it?
“, another to ask “Have you tried reinstalling it?
” and the last one to say “It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine…”
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: What ?
Go all the way up there and come back empty ?
You must be jokin’ mate !
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into the house and smash the old light bulb to bits, fifty to protest the abortion of the old lightbulb, ten to organize a lawn fete and spaghetti dinner at Our Most Holy Precious Blood of the Seventeen Martyred Saints R.C. Church to raise funds to buy a new light bulb (and the Monsignor a new pair of bowling shoes as a gift on St. Stanislaus Day), twenty from Chiavettas Catering to serve the food, twenty to run the Monte Carlo gambling tent, fifty to run everything else, one to go to Koplinskis Appliances to buy the light bulb, one to screw it in, five to say the Rosary as the bulb is being screwed in, and the Monsignor to bless it.
Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
Q: How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?
A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.