Dan: My little brother is a real pain.Nan: Things could be worse.Dan: How?
Nan: He could be twins !
Dan: My little brother is a real…
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Author Archives: lennart
Dan had been studying whales for…
Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds and to translate them into English. His latest research had proved that they can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked what could they possibly have to say at such distances he replied, “As best as we can figure, it is something like – Hey, can you hear me now?
Definition of Divorce: The futur…
Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage.
Deep within a forest a little tu…
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Dear God: Yesterday was an awful…
Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for me…My husband ran off with his secretary,My son pierced his eyebrow,My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head,My dog mated with the neighbors cat,My neighbor sold her house to a mental institution,My Mom told me I was adopted,My Dad told me he’s gay,My boss told me I was laid off,My sister was arrested for prostitution,My house has termites,My car was stolen,All that came in the mail was bills,A plane, crash landed on my garage,OJ Simpson came to my door selling rug cleaner,And my TV blew.Lord, please be with me today. I was able to live through all that misery yesterday. And I will be able to make it through anything today! But please….DON’T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY COMPUTER!!!!!AMENA programmer enters an elevator, wanting to go to the 12th floor.So, he pushes 1, then he pushes 2, and starts looking for the Enter….
Dear Father Christmas, this Chri…
Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.Yours, Sherlock HolmesWatson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?
Lemon-entry my dear watson.
Dear Father Christmas, could you…
Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!.Father Christmas: Can’t do that one. He hasn’t said what size his crocodile takes!
Dear Boss,I hope I haven’t misun…
Dear Boss,I hope I haven’t misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me.At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.In addition, I have changed the days of the week, and they are now: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak.Is it enough, or should I change any other Y to K?
I am a fan of the New York Yankees. Should I call them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K ready?
Dawn was breaking over the camp …
Dawn was breaking over the camp grounds. Tony and Steve were lying in their tent.’That was a terrible thunder and lightening storm last night,’ Tony announced.Steve turned to him and said, ‘Why didn’t you wake me up?
You know I can’t sleep during a storm!’ […]
Democrat men like to watch footb…
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans are in full agreement.