Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class ?

Pupil: My mother won’t let me do it at home !

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school

Teacher: Where is the English Channel ?

Pupil: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!Pupil: What?

, and get bitten!