Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father’s annoyance.’Teddy,’ he called, ‘how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly?
Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human being.’There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.’That’s better,’ said his father. ‘Now will you always come down stairs like that?
”Suits me,’ said Teddy. ‘I slid down the bannister.’
Ted said to his friend, ‘can you lend me $10?
”But I only have $8,’ his friend replied.That’s OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
Tech Support: “Which format are the images you send?
” Customer: “Rectangular, 15×11 centimeters.”
Tech Support: “How may I help you today, sir?
” Customer: “Hello…hey, er…I think I’ve got the wrong software installed in my computer.” Tech Support: “Why is that, sir?
” Customer: “I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded with software called the ‘XYZ Desktop’.” Tech Support: “Yes…?
” Customer: “Shouldn’t it be called the ‘XYZ Minitower’?
I OBVIOUSLY have the wrong software installed in this computer.”
Teacher:”To which family does the elephant belong ?
“Pupil:”I don’t know, nobody I know owns one !”
Teacher: You’ve been e-mailing other pupils that I’m ugly!Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn’t realise you wanted to keep it a secret.
Teacher: You’re new here aren’t you, what’s your name?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ?
Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ?
Pupil: Umm, I’ve got red hair !
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn’t you?
Pupil: Not very much!