The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. ‘How high is it, Doctor?
‘ she wanted to know.’One hundred and three,’ said the doctor.’What is the world record?
‘
The second grader was in bed wit…
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Author Archives: lennart
The schoolteacher was taking her…
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.”Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?
” she asked the instructor.”P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied.”Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”
The school teacher was furious w…
The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. “Don’t you know how to ride that yet?
” he roared. “Oh yes!” shouted Brad over his shoulder. “It’s the bell I can’t work yet.
The sailor came home from a secr…
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determinedto track down the father to extract revenge.”Was it my friend Sam”, he demanded.”No !” his weeping wife replied.”Was it my friend Jim then?
” he asked.”NO !!!” she said even more upset.”Well which one of my no good friends did this then?
” he asked.”Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?
” she snapped.
The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen…
The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen
The room was full of pregnant wo…
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.”Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.”Yes?
” asked the instructor.”Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?
“
The Rocky Mountains are very big…
The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains.One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled, ‘Time to get up.’And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!
The Reverend Francis Norton woke…
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So…. he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.As soon as the associate pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?
” The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.”Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!Saint Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?
“The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?
“
The Reverend Billy Graham tells …
The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven.” “I don’t think I’ll be there,” the boy said. “You don’t even know your way to the post office.”
The Spicy Sausage by Delia Kates…
The Spicy Sausage by Delia Katessen