There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parishwho kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,”If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someonewho had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.”This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until thepriest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priestarrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks intown. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking abouthaving fallen.” The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the newpriest about the code word.Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger atthe mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re l aughing about, yourwife fell three times this week.”

There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, “Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?

” The missionary says, “Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say ‘Thank God’ to make it go and ‘Amen’ to make it stop.” Not paying much attetion, the man says, “Sure, ok.” So he gets on the horse and says, “Thank God” and the horse starts walking. Then he says, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, “Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God” and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he’s doing everything he can to make the horse stop. “Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!” Finally he remembers, “Amen!!” The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, “Thank God.”