Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, “Watch out for worms won’t you!” The first one replied, “Why should I?
They can watch out for themselves.”
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. “I have an idea,” said Mike. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.” “What, do you think I’m stupid?
I have an idea. I’ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.” “What, do you think I’m stupid?
You’ll just turn off the flashlight when I’m halfway there.”
Two cab drivers met.”Hey,” asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?
“”Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”
Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. “if I ever stop hating girls,” said one to the other, “I think I’ll stop hating her first.”
Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says, “Youknow, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn’t agree with me!”
Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read “BEAR LEFT” so they went home.
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other “I don’t like your friend.” The other one said, “Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables.”
Two cannibals were having lunch. ‘Your girlfriend makes a great soup,’ said one to the other.’Yes!’ agreed the first. ‘But, U’m going to miss her terribly.’
Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup,” said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But I’m going to miss her terribly.”
Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a ________.”Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.Making sure the professor wasn’t watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Pssst. Tiny. What’s the answer to the last question?
“Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn’t noticed then he turned to Bubba. “Bubba, you’re so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM.””Oh yeah,” said Bubba. “I remember now.”He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny’s should er again, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?
“”You are really dumb, Bubba. That’s so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O.”