Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
Doctor: Nurse, how is that littl…
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Author Archives: lennart
During a funeral for a woman who…
During a funeral for a woman who had henpecked her husband, drove herkids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightestopportunity, and even made neurotics of their cat and dog with herexplosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor’s benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder. “Well, at least we know she got there all right,” commented her husband
During a flood in a small Ohio t…
During a flood in a small Ohio town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy. As they sat watching articles float along with the water, they noticed a baseball cap float by. Suddenly, the cap turned and came back, then turned around and went downstream. After it had gone some distance, it turned again and came back. “Do you see that baseball cap?
” said the girl. “First it goes downstream, then turns around and comes back.” “Oh, that’s my dad,” replied the boy. “This morning he said that come hell or high water, he was going to cut the grass today.”
During a break on a North Dakota…
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. “Ah heard the boys is gonna strike,” he said. “What fer?
” asked Pyle. “Shorter hours.” “Good fer them!” said the redneck. “Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!”
During a big fire downtown the f…
During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby. The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop.The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, “TOUCHDOWN!!”
Duayne met Patricia Ann from Bir…
Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham at a Tus-caloosa ballroom. They danced every dance together. When the evening was over, he asked if he could see her next time he was in town. “Yes,” replied Patricia Ann shyly. The young man hurriedly took out his pad and pencil and asked, “What’s your number?
” “CApitol 4-6173.” After a long embarrassed pause, Duayne asked, “How do yew make a capital 4?
“
Droopy Drawersby Lucy Lastic…
Droopy Drawersby Lucy Lastic
Driving to work, a gentlman had …
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. “I’m sorry sir,” the first trooper told the driver, “but I am still going to have to write you a ticket.” Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, “Tacks evasion.”
Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you …
Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention?
It’s a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50 per cent aspirin. Igor: But what’s it for?
Dr Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just inven…
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it. Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve invented the square tub . . .