Author Archives: lennart

When the airline Captain announc…

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When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt LakeCity, Utah, a womantold the man sitting beside her, “I understand this is the home of theMormon religionwhere husbands believe it’s OK to have more than one wife.” That’strue,” he replied, “asa matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine wives.””Howdisgusting,”she said,”you should be ashamed of yourself, suchpractices should be againstthe law and you ought to be hung.” With a slight grin, he just said,”Yes, mam I am.”

When that fool Reagan said that …

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When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failedexperiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was ademagogue.When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evilempire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War byescalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclearannihilation.When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiatedits past, I knew it was all Gorbachev’s genius, and that fool Reaganhad nothing to do with it.Because if that fool Reagan was right all along……what kind of fool am I?

When the employees of a restaura…

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When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. “Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.”Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?

“In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin — and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

When the employees of a restaura…

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When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate theproper way to operate an extinguisher. “Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the triggerto release the foam.” Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgotto pull the pin. The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?

” In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin — and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

When the office photo-copies beg…

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When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service. The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning. The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operator’s manual and perform the job themselves, since it would cost $100.00, if he did the work. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asks, “Does your boss know you are discouraging business?

” “Actually, my boss demands we explain this to all our customers”. “After people try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money on repairs”

When the waitress in a New York …

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When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. “Good heavens,” he said, “what is this?

“”Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied.”I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. “What is it now?

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