How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility?

She’s the one with dirty knees.

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None – They just have a nursing assistant do it.

How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just have a nursing assistant do it.As much as the doctor orders.

How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.

Jack: “My brother was sick and went to the doctor.”John: “Is he feeling better now?

“Jack: “No, he has a broken arm.”John: “How did he break it?

“Jack: “Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter what happened, to follow that prescription. And the prescription blew out of the window.”John: “How did he break his arm?

“Jack: “He fell out of the window trying to follow the prescription.”

Jack went to see the camp nurse. ‘I fell last night,’ he said. ‘And I was unconscious for eight hours.’The nurse was shocked. ‘How awful. What happened?

”I fell asleep!’

Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.Doctor: Oh, really?

Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!