Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?

Use a pencil till I get there

Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!Well tell her to come inI can’t she doesn’t stop at this floor!

Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she’s invisible!What sister?

Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!Hmmmm. Let’s hope nothing develops.

Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fishPoor sole!

Doctor, doctor my baby’s swallowed a bullet Well don’t point him at anyone until I get there!

Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of his fatherNever mind just so long as he’s healthy!

Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!When did this happen?

When did what happen?

Doctor, Doctor I’ve just swallowed a penWell sit down and write your name!

Doctor, Doctor You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shakingDo you drink a lot?

Not really – I spill most of it!