Manager: I’ll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year’s time?

Young player: OK, I’ll come back in a year’s time!

Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?

Player: I finished it in three days!

Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet ?

Player: I finished it in three days !

Our team is doing so badly that “Manager of the Month” isn’t an award.It’s an appointment!

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who’s driving?

A: The police.

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

Q: What did the football say to the football player?

A: I get a kick out of you.

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.